


A Cosmic Web

by sonicsora



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Cigars, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Outer Space, Smoking, cannons, cartoon logic, extensive headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-23 21:14:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20225809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonicsora/pseuds/sonicsora
Summary: After discovering space travel is something humankind has done, Muffet gets it in her head she needs to get monsterkind into space as well. Frisk, of course, is more than happy to help.





	A Cosmic Web

**Author's Note:**

> Done on request for Anon! They had a lot of interesting headcanons, so prepare yourselves for Muffet growing past the underground.

She shakes the cigar ashes off to the side into her ashtray with a ladylike sniff of displeasure. Her dark loose hair tumbles over her shoulders and back as she eyes the spiders in her office. Muffet tilts her head back as she speaks reclining in her office chair. “Mon Cher- anything is possible if you put your mind to it. You should trust me by now.” She places a hand against her chest with an offended harrumph. She had led the spiders to safety and freedom! She knew what she was doing!

One of the spiders gathered around the oak desk chittered back at their Princess, skittering across the tabletop just out of reach. After their Princess last temper fit where she swallowed a few spiders by accident, they had learned to just stay mostly out of range. 

“Tsh.” She waves one of her hands dismissively. Another spider chimes in with a chitter, earning another huff from Muffet. This wasn’t what she wanted to hear. Monster kind had a new frontier to discover! A new expanse to see! The nay-sayers of her own people left the spider princess more than a little indignant. She leans forward blowing smoke over the gaggle of tiny spiders gathered on her desktop in response to more disapproving chittering from the spiders gathered. An array of tiny coughs echo in the office. Whilst the air is scented like baked goods and webbing, it still is much to take in all at once. 

“If you won’t help, I know who will!” Muffet reaches out a hand to pluck up the decadent purple rotary phone from her desk’s surface, settling it upon her lap as she raised the receiver to her ear as she listens to the phone ring. She props her heeled boots upon the edge of her desk as she waits, watching the other spiders begin to scuttle down the desks sides. Muffet had made up her mind, and she was doing things her way. There was no arguing with her on the topic now. 

“Bonjour Mademoiselle Toriel! May I speak with mon petit Frisk?” She twirled her finger through the phone cord as she spoke, watching as her spiders scuttled out under the doorway and disappeared into the rest of the manor. 

“Oui oui, I can wait.” She idly lets her legs drop back to the floor her desk as she turns her chair to face the window behind her. From her vantage point she could see the cannon still in progress being built by her spiders. It lay within the manor’s compound just behind the house itself, and it was a spectacular sort of thing built from the ground up by spiders and their brilliance. 

They were getting closer and closer to the first practice launch, and all she needed was someone she trusted to take the first mission into space. Monsters deserved to see more of the world, more of the universe. Muffet is jerked from her thoughts when Frisk’s voice comes up on the phone, she finds herself smiling around her stogie as she speaks. “Bonjour bonjour mon petit héros Frisk! I have a small favor to ask of you.” She lets her gaze drift across the cannon as she continues. “Well, first I must ask petit, how do you feel about space?” 

Her lips curled into a pleasant kind of smile at the human ambassador’s response. She rubbed her secondary set of hands together eagerly. “Merveilleuse!” She giggles as she starts twirling in her chair, uncaring if she tangled herself in the phone wires. 

Once the phone call was over properly, she spun back around untangling herself from the phone cord and placing it back on her desk. She reached out to press down on the intercom on her desk. “Se dépêcher! Bring me another cigar and some tea Mr. Tuffet XIV!” The grunt that came in turn over the intercom meant her baked companion would bring both to her quickly. She stubbed out the nub of a cigar onto the ashtray lain upon her desktop as she turns back towards her window. “Soon, so very soon. We shall finally see the stars for ourselves.” 

\----  
She waits by the gates of the manor, casually taking a drag of her stogie as she eyes the road. Muffet was attempting patience, but the giddiness building up in her chest left her wanting to dart out of the manor grounds and shout Frisk’s name.

The human child would be here soon enough, their mother Toriel was dropping them off for this journey. It had taken some finagling and sweet talking before the Boss Monster had agreed to the whole thing, but it was more than worth the effort. It was a new opportunity for monsterkind as a whole given humans had seemingly already went out into space without them. As far as Muffet was concerned they had some catching up to do. Humans be darned, monsters would find their own way up to the stars. 

Her gaze flicked back to the grand manor, taking in the opulent surroundings the spiders called their home. The manor itself sat upon the tallest hill overlooking the valley that had the monster’s hometown nestled below. The manor’s compound was surrounded by trees, wild flowers, actual flower beds, and well maintained shrubbery. Cobwebs had built up on certain corners of the purple and white painted manor where smaller colonies of spiders had settled in. When they weren’t working at the bakery down the hill in the town the monster population had settled in, they were here enjoying the lush greenery and the manor’s many rooms, or occasionally the outside corners of the manor itself. 

Muffet offered a friendly wave to a particular family of spiders marching by, greeting them casually around the cigar in her mouth. She’s only distracted from casual greetings when the sound of a car pulling up to the gate catches her attention. She perks up brightly, twirling around to face the gate. The motion sends her black silky waist length hair fluttering loosely behind her. She clasps all of her hands together as she marches forward, an eager bounce in her step. She closes the distance between herself and the gate, dramatically throwing it open. 

“Frisk! Le plus petit ami!” 

The car door is thrown open as Frisk excitedly scrambles out of the passenger seat, signing rapidly before they find their voice. “Muffet!” They dart forward to hug the spider monster around the legs. Muffet manages to keep her balance, laughing easily as she pats the child’s head. The passenger door has been left open in the child’s haste to see their friend. 

“Greetings, Muffet.” Toriel leans towards the open door from her side of the car, she offers the spider monster a friendly kind of smile. “You seem to be doing well, dear.” 

“More than well, magnifique!” She winks back at Toriel, “Especially now that our little human ambassador is here!”

Toriel hums at that, her smile shifting into something a little more concerned. Her brows knit together. “Are you sure this is going to be safe, dear?” 

“Psh! Ne t'inquiète pas, cher ami I have things in hand, more than in hand! Frisk is safe here with us spiders!” 

“Oh, I do believe that, but space?” 

“Trust me. Ms. Toriel, I know so many things about aerospace travel!” The spider easily launched into an excited explanation of her space program to be. Even with the cigar in her mouth she speaks of it easily, stopping to occasionally blow sickly sweet smoke into the air before picking up on her thought. At best Toriel could only follow some of it given her expression. Frisk stared up at her, clearly enraptured and understanding. Frisk was clearly the perfect choice for this!

“I see.” Toriel answers after a long pause, still looking at loss. “Well…” 

“Trust me! You know I would do anything to protect our littlest ambassador!” She pinches one of Frisk’s cheeks, giggling at the way the child playfully stuck their tongue back out at her. “I’ll get your tongue if you do that again, petit ami.” She teases lowly back earning a squeak from Frisk. 

“Now, now, you two play nice.” Toriel huffs fondly, waggling a finger back at the pair earning some giggling from human and spider monster. “Call me when you’re sending Frisk back home, dear.” 

“Of course! I’ll send them back via the web highway.” Muffet answers with a wink and finger gun from one of her hands. “Shall we go petite chérie?” Frisk nods eagerly clapping their hands together as Muffet bids Toriel goodbye, leading the child back towards the front walkway past the gate. The two walked into the compound together easily, Frisk chattering about their excitement about going into space. Muffet couldn’t help but grin and laugh at the excitement, feeling her own growing by the minute. 

“Just wait until you see the cannon!” Muffet answers brightly back with a clap of her hands. “It’s made for safe space travel for humans and monsters. No need for those NASA des imbéciles.” Muffet rolls her eyes at the thought of NASA, they started ignoring her calls as soon as she brought up using a cannon. Short sighted humans. 

The two walk around the back of the manor, down the stone cobbled pathways leading down where the cannon stood at its fullest height. It broke past the cloud cover overhead, far taller than even the manor itself, and Muffet couldn't stop herself from feeling prideful. Her spiders had done beautiful work, as it was larger than any of her other cannons by far. Even from where they stood, the two could make out the delicate floral embellishments carved into the smooth glittering surface. Frisk gasped softly staring at the space cannon, practically vibrating in place. 

“Hehehe!” Muffet clapped again happily, “Don’t get excited yet, I still have to outfit you for the trip, not to mention go over protocols for return!”

Frisk blinked realizing that hadn’t been discussed over the phone, the child gives a thoughtful sound at that. Muffet took an easy drag of her cigar as she started towards the cannon, “Follow me, petit ami!” They walk around the winding path together, eventually arriving to the grand towering purple cannon. The grand sweeping console surrounding the cannon are manned by a variety of spiders. A few spiders work on final calibrations to ensure the cannon can handle shooting Frisk out of the atmosphere safely. 

Unsurprisingly, there is a small table of baked goods settled near the console, spiders who aren’t manning the consoles or who are taking their fifteen minute breaks picking at the baked goods. One cannot handle such complex tasks on an empty stomach after all. Muffet chuckles somewhat to herself at Frisk perking up at the familiar spiders, waving at them eagerly. 

Frisk eagerly hustles over to the console, greeting nearly every spider by name. The chorus of happy chittering that came in response just made Muffet laugh softly. Frisk was practically a monster at this point, that much was obvious. The Princess of the spiders strides towards the table to pick up a muffin. She gingerly peels back the wrapping around the muffin she has in hand, taking a delicate nibble from it as she listens to the brief conversations between spiders and Frisk before interjecting. “Now, now, mes petits amis! Now is not the time for a social gathering! We have work to do!” She claps her hands to get the spiders moving again. There are only minor complaints, but compliance comes easy for the ever-industrious spider monsters. 

Frisk laughs a little at Muffet’s words, running back to her, “Why not? It’d be fun!” Muffet huffs fondly at that. “It’s not often we all get together like this!” The child was eager to spend time with every monster. It always warmed Muffet’s soul to its very core. 

“Well, a buffet isn’t a bad idea for later... I’m sure we could charge for the baked goods to help with the space program.” She murmurs to herself as she rubs at her chin in thought. Muffet files that away for later. There is always opportunity for capitol, especially if one is trying to compete with NASA. Monsterkind needs this obviously, so monster and human can be together as one.

“Do we have Frisk’s gear on hand?” She calls out to the gathered spiders. Muffet claps one set of her hands again to show she’s serious. “We need it Dès que possible!” She brings the hand with a muffin up to take another bite of it casually. 

Frisk blinks a little in surprise, looking up at the Spider Princess. “Gear?”

“We have made you special gear so you could traverse through space itself.” Muffet answers easily after she finishes chewing, perking up as a small cluster of spiders bring over the helmet paired with an oxygen tank backpack. The Princess of the spiders gives a pleased sound at that, passing off her cigar to one of the spiders so she can focus. 

“Now, let us see if this fits you.” She bends down to pick up the gear from the spiders. Frisk gladly accepts the helmet settling it over their own head. The backpack takes some adjusting given Frisk is small for their age. Muffet reaches out to connect the helmet to the backpack, ensuring oxygen would flow safely into the helmet and it wouldn’t leak when Frisk was in space. She walks around Frisk in a circle briefly murmuring to herself as she adjusts the wiring leading to the helmet one last time. She steps back around to face Frisk. The child offers her a thumbs up as they examine the set-up curiously. “There, fantastique! That fits you wonderfully!” She giggles as she adds, “It’s also quite dashing upon you mon très cher ami!” 

Frisk laughs again, finger gunning at the spider with a goofy kind of smile. Muffet can’t help but giggle again, covering her mouth with one of her many hands. “Before we get caught up in posing, it is best we talk about the methods of this.” There was science to be done after all! Monster science! Frisk nods, falling silent for now to listen, clearly a rapt audience. 

“You see, this cannon will shoot you directly into space itself, as we discussed briefly over the phone. I’ve specifically calibrated it so you could get past our planet safely.” Muffet continues easily, reaching out to take her cigar back from one of the spiders. “Thank you, chère-” She offers in passing before getting back on topic. “I’ll have a very strong web composed of the strongest webbing material we’ve woven together specifically for this. I’ll be wrapping you in a harness made of this webbing so you can be safely pulled back home by myself and all the spiders.” 

Frisk gives a soft, “Ah.” of understanding in turn, but doesn’t interrupt. Frisk is still one of Muffet’s favorite audiences purely for this fact. “This is our first journey into the stars, we want to be sure you’re safe little ambassador.” She reaches out to gently pat the top of the helmet with a smile. 

Muffet is only distracted by the familiar grunts of Mr. Tuffet XIV as the baked spider cupcake scuttles down the path from the house. The Spider Princess turns her gaze from Frisk as the baked good spider brought down a tray of tea and extra cigars. He manages to get down the cobblestone pathway with no real troubles, not even spilling a drop of tea. Muffet swells up with some pride. It had taken fourteen tries, but she finally had a Mr. Tuffet who could handle helping her with various tasks around the manor. This was her finest creation, besides the cannon of course. 

“Ah, my hero!” Muffet sing-songed brightly as she picked up a tea cup. She dunked her muffin into the tea readily. She passes her cigar into an empty hand so she can nibble at the tea soaked muffin more easily. Mr. Tuffet grunted happily in turn at the praise, practically purring when Frisk steps in to scratch at the baked good fondly. Muffet knows she should get things moving, but lets the scene unfold a bit longer as she nibbles on her muffin. Having Frisk around is always a delight, even if they spoil Mr. Tuffet. 

“Now now, dearie, don’t spoil him! Viens petit ami, we have work to do!” She takes another bite of her muffin, before turning away from Mr. Tuffet to walk over to the console. Frisk readily follows after her, still clad in their gear for the trip itself. She takes her seat in front of the console upon a plush stool. As she settles a small cluster of spiders bring a small side table for her with plates and an ashtray. “Merci merci-” She states to them easily before setting aside her snacks entirely. 

Her cigar goes back between her lips as she leans forward to look things over. She flicks a few switches here and there checking the status of the machinery. “All systems are go, dearies! Merveilleuse! Let us begin first launch sequences!” With a flourish of one of her hands she reaches out to press a large button, which makes the grand cannon tremble slightly where it is anchored to the ground. The knob on the back of the cannon starts to twirl as the breech begins to slide open. Spiders quickly make their way up and away as the breech of the cannon extends to its fullest open position. Within the compartment lay a plush seat made for space travelers to settle in before launch, behind it lay the ventfield which would push Frisk forward when the cannon was shot. Frisk gives a soft gasp, hands flying to their mouth and colliding awkwardly with the helmet. The child blinks in surprise before giggling at themselves. 

She flicks her gaze over to Frisk, once again finding herself smiling at the child’s antics, “Now my friend, tenir bon, we have to make your harness!” As if on cue the other spiders scuttle forward to walk around Frisk. Slowly but surely the small human child has a harness made of intricate webbing built carefully around Frisk’s torso and oxygen backpack. A long sturdy strand of webbing comes off of the back of the backpack, it is thick enough Muffet could easily yank on it without fear of it coming undone. Frisk turns slightly to look over their shoulder to poke at the strand curiously. 

Muffet turns on her stool, grinning widely as she looks over the harness, “Excellente! Now you’re more than ready!” She rises from her stool, she stubs out her stub of a stogie into the ashtray as she motions for Frisk to follow her. The human child readily trails after her as Muffet comes to a stop next to the opened breech. Muffet goes over Frisk’s suit one last time as a safety’s check before she grins and motions towards the compartment. “This is your seat, mon petit ami humain. Get comfortable!” Frisk offers a playful salute, moving to scramble into the seat, practically sinking into the comfortable seat therein once they’ve settled. Muffet has to laugh at the sight, moving in to dip in and press a kiss against Frisk’s cheek best she could given the helmet. Frisk just giggles at the gesture regardless. 

“Now, tap here.” She motions at the strap of the backpack where a small array of colorful buttons are laid out. “There are buttons, comprenez vous? You will activate the oxygen backpack and the headset built into the helmet itself.” Frisk blinked, but gladly complied, the small child pressed each button activating the suits systems. “I’ll have my own headset so we can talk during your journey!” The spider princess answers easily in turn, “Are you ready for launch?” 

Frisk nodded, a smile curls across their features, “This is almost like when the barrier broke? Remember? You shot me out of a canon that same day...” Muffet gives a gentle sigh at the thought, “Non, non, non, do not make me nostalgic now!” She chides gently back with a laugh. “We have business to attend to dear ambassador!” Frisk offered another playful salute before Muffet walks back towards the console, she settles back upon her stool. With the flick of several buttons the breech starts to shake slightly before slowly closing back up. Frisk was loaded safely into the chamber of the cannon. Muffet puts her headset on, starting the countdown for launch. “Un, deux, trois, aller! We are go!”

She slams a hand down on the launch button, causing the cannon to crank further up to its fullest height and shoot Frisk up, up, up into the atmosphere. Muffet grins widely as the child became a twinkle in the skyline. The long strand of webbing had tethered itself to the cannon’s inner workings, so they could pull Frisk safely home as needed. “Vite vite, bring me a bomb so I can light my cigar!” 

\---  
Hurtling through the atmosphere then directly into space was both thrilling and horrifying as an experience. Frisk couldn’t quite put it into words as they stared out into the expanse of space. The stars were brighter than the eight year old child could ever imagine. Frisk found themselves mimicking swimming to get through space. 

“Oh, mon petit ami, what do you see?” Muffet’s voice came through the headset, crackling only marginally because of the distance. Frisk had to laugh a little at the fact sweet smelling smoke shaped like a cupcake comes through the helmet’s built in receiver. 

“I see…” The child’s gaze drifts across their surroundings before landing on a somewhat familiar sight. “A dog…?” The ever familiar white dog drifts through space wearing a helmet of his own yapping and chasing after some stolen bones. Frisk could vaguely make out a tag with Papyrus’ name on it. “That dog has some bones!” All Muffet can do is laugh in delight. Frisk can hear her writing things down, the scratch of her pen picked up by her delicately calibrated headset. 

Frisk continues swimming through the lack of atmosphere, kicking their tiny legs as they drift by the white dog who has a bone bounce off of his helmet. The eight year old snorts softly at the sight as they space swim past the sight. The barks didn’t carry very far. 

They end up surrounded by comets flying by, all made of glittering geodes of various colors and sizes. The eight year old gave an impressed oooh reaching out cautiously, only to discover the geodes were in fact space rock candy. The sugar sticks to their fingers leaving the child’s fingertips grainy. Frisk grabbed some of the rocky candy excitedly, trying to put it into their mouth before realizing a bit too late their helmet will prevent tasting space candy. It smacks against the helmet with an audible thwick. “What are you up to mon petit ami?” The question sends more smoky tendrils of baked good goodness from the stogie through the headset. It isn’t the same as space rock candy, but Frisk will take it. The child eagerly explains the rock candy geodes as they start wiggling forward through the comet field.

The small child only pauses their space swimming when they feel something wiggling in their pants pockets. Frisk blinks in confusion before reaching into their pocket, surprised to see two tiny spiders clinging to their fingertips. Frisk turns their palms up to let the two spiders settle upon the expanse of their palm. “How did you get here?” The two spiders softly chitter back at Frisk, making the child’s bottom lip wobble at their sentiment. “You- you’re in love and wanna see space together?” The spiders give nods before asking Frisk for a request. The child sucks in a short breath nodding themselves before gingerly flicking the two off of their palm into space. Frisk waves goodbye to the pair before picking up on moving through the darkness. 

The eight year old’s thoughts of the happy couple is derailed when they hear a familiar grunt nearby. Frisk’s gaze snaps to the side and sees Mr. Tuffet IV floating by aimlessly. The baked good spider’s many legs wiggling helplessly around him. Floating along behind him look like several excited Temmies, but with odd antenna protruding from their foreheads. A chorus of “TEM!” is shouted when they see Frisk, but they’re quest to chase Mr. Tuffet IV is clearly a more pressing matter. Frisk contemplates following them before they feel a tug on their backpack.

“Time to come home, petit ami!” Muffet’s voice comes over the headset as Frisk’s second warning before the child finds themselves pulled back again. Frisk waves at the space Temmies and Mr. Tuffet IV before they’re pulled hard back down onto Earth’s atmosphere. The fall back is exhilarating and terrifying as Frisk watches the darkness of space disappear around them as they enter earth’s atmosphere again. Bit by bit they can see the monster village come into view, then the manor itself. The spiders were cheering and carrying on as Frisk fell back down to them. 

Frisk finds themselves landing safely in Muffet’s six arms, cradled against her chest as she beams down at them in pride. She pats the top of Frisk’s head fondly. “Mon petit héros, that launch was a huge success! You better get ready for another launch next week, Oui?” 

Frisk nods eagerly clapping their hands, a bright smile curling across their features. “Oui!”


End file.
